Sunday, January 28, 2007

Greer Fisk attempted with mediocre results

There is already a much better rebuttal of Germaine Greers' idiotic piece on Big Brother on the WivenoeFunnyFarm site, but I might as well add my tuppence worth a bit late.

'Why does everyone hate me?'

Thousands of viewers have complained about the racist bullying of Shilpa Shetty on Big Brother. But we should not be surprised by the housemates' behaviour - it reflects the widespread bigotry of British society, says Germaine Greer

Wednesday January 17, 2007
The Guardian

Greer essentially indulges in a bit of cultural oneupwomanship when discussing the many reasons why we should loathe Shilpa Shetty. I willingly admit that I too have ample reason to loathe a beautiful film star with a charmed life dozens of servants (ferfuxzacke, I link to Bollywoodscum), but whereas Greer opts to turn it into an opportunity to show off her Knowledge Of India Like A Right Intellectual, I do it because of sheer misanthropy. I think that somehow there is a degree of honesty in that which is lacking in the fig-leaf exercise here.

There are no good reasons for watching Celebrity Big Brother and very good reasons for not. Not watching will spare you the nerve-fraying annoyingness that is Shilpa Shetty. Everything about her is infuriating: her haughty way of stalking about, her indomitable self-confidence, her chandelier earrings, her leaping eyebrows, her mirthless smile, her putty nose and her eternal bray, "Why does everyone hate me?" Not to mention the crying jags.

So: She’s a posh hoity rich bitch who has grown up in the lap of luxury with no real contact of the Real India that Greer has had SO much contact with, and she was reared on idiotic beauty contests to boot. Parasitic SCUM!

What no one seems to have quite understood is that Shilpa is a very good actress. Everyone hates her because she wants them to. She also knows that if she infuriates people enough, their innate racism will spew forth.

And from hereonin it goes tits up. “Shilpa is a very good actress”. Whereas Greer may wish to show off her knowledge of Indian film stars (oh to imagine the smiles of delight from equal ops awareness officers across the land), even a cursory glance at the acting in most of the new-school Bollywood films would show you that, really, its hamminess of the highest order. This is an industry that last year awarded a lifetime achievement award to David Fucking Hasselhoff.

“She also knows that if she infuriates people enough, their innate racism will spew forth.” This also fatally underestimates the degree of awareness that Indians (particularly Middle class Indians) have of the sheer extent of racism they could expect in Britain from certain quarters.

You could write extensively at this point on the double standards that exist in Indian society in regard to sneering at Dalits whilst slavishly seeking approval from western compatriots, but then it was Germaine Greer who said that “Women have no idea how much men hate them“, a comment that you should hear echoing in your head of every time a call centre operative in Bangalore, patiently explains to an enraged caller that, actually, no, they aren’t a ‘P*ki’, as they are from India, so surely they should like them as they had good relations with them, and haven’t knowingly conspired to kill any westerners.

Never mind, Germaine Greer is convinced that acting posh is enough to invoke the Wrath of Goody, and so it has. Presumably if Shetty were subject to sexual harrasment in the house, Greer would cite Shetty’s clothing and behaviour as ample excuse for her ‘comeuppance’?

Greer then plays amateur Freud by pointing out her Tamil roots. Tamil roots that the Graun later had to correct. This is used as an opening gambit to display her half-cobbled knowledge of Skin Lighteners And Their Ill-Effects on WIMMINS Self Esteem.

Her only motive for parading in front of the other women in the house with whitener on her face was to show what utter hicks they are, how little they understand of her complex reality or of a billion people in the subcontinent who all want to have wheat-coloured skin.

Or maybe - *maybe*, it was because whatever shit she was smearing on took 15 minutes to work and was eager for a little bit of approval from white co-stars . Skin lighteners are poisonous shit at the best of times and Shetty (an self proclaimed animal rights activist) deserves to be hauled up for this. But hey, its not best done by 3 fucktards laughing their arses off at her waning to be white.

I bet thousands of brown-skinned girls in Southall fell off the sofa laughing when she did that.

You guessed wrong then.

Bollywood is no picnic; anyone who makes 51 Bollywood movies in 13 years has to be tough. Shilpa has a black belt in karate. She is just the girl to raise the pit bull in a dizzy little drip like Danielle and keep her frothing at the mouth long enough for her nascent career as a sweet little Wag to disappear down the drain.

More teed showing off of how much she knows about Bollywood. “She is just the girl to raise ..”. GIRL? She’s 31 for fucksake.

She knows what she is doing. She will shred the nerves of all the other women in that house until even Cleo pulls back her frozen lips and shows the fangs behind her witless Mona Lisa smile.

WRONG. Cleo (best described as ‘quintessentially Lib Dem’ and imitating the UN in Bosnia with regard her stellar non-intervention in the worst excesses of bullying) merely simpered and drifted away with the fairies. But then you’d expect that from a former girlfriend of Gary Glitter.

But now to the meat of the problem. Its not so much that the housemates hate Shilpa, but because they don’t hate her for the right reasons and hate her in the Greer-approved way:

The problem is that most of the housemates are too dim to convey what a pain in the ass Shilpa is without appearing to persecute her. So Danielle, beside herself with rage because Shilpa cooks with onions, calls her a dog. Jack Tweed calls her a cunt. The word was bleeped out, leading many viewers to speculate that she had been racially abused. That is not surprising. This is a racist country; to the vast majority of couch potatoes out there, Shilpa is a "P*ki bird".

The vast majority obviously excludes the entirely unrepresentative 40,000 people (sneeringly dismissed as bandwagon jumpers by Sunny Hundal and other wankers) who were so unrepresentative of Racist Britain tha they chose to complain to OFCOM. Greer then goes on to make excuses for how Jackieyeeeye Budden failing to even BOTHER to learn to pronounce her name was the same as Shilpa failing to correctly pronounce the name ‘Dirk’. The difference being that she tried and tried and eventually id learn to pronounce the name, whereas Jackieye was mortally insulted a Shilpa’s request to try and help her pronounce it when she resorted to calling her ‘Indian’.

Interestingly, ‘Indian’ has 3 syllables whereas ‘Shilpa’ only has 2. Has the 1-armed fanny bandit never known anyone called Sheila?

Greer then goes to moan on about how unfair it is that you can’t take the piss out of Indian Accents like you can wiTh Autralian or cockerny, and claims that Jade and scum pals would never have seen an Indian movie (except Jade has done a Bollywood style dance skit on one of her endless reality shows), nor would they have had Indian friends (except Jo, ringleader who first broached the subject of Shilpa’s accent, who has several Indian cousins, and Danielle, who has had a troupe of scabby relatives proclaiming how in touch with other races she is).

Even people who go out once a week for "an Indian" don't realise and don't care that they are almost certain to be in a Sylheti restaurant. (Sylhet is part of Bangladesh.)

More showing off of the kind that was deeply impressive pre 1997 and the MacPherson report but which now just looks like she’s swotting up for the River Café annual quiz. Sylhet is part of Bangladesh? You don’t say. But I thought that the people who went out every week for ‘an Indian’ would actually be going out for ‘a P*ki’ according to the logic stated above? In which case, they are probably aware of the difference, but DON’T CARE.

Shilpa likes to be seen cooking. She looks utterly virtuous while she is doing it, she doesn't have to try to converse with the women in the house, she gets to eat food she likes, spice it any way she chooses and time it to please herself. It is a perfect ploy to drive everyone else crazy.

Again Greer fails to grasp the extent of how cooking & general chore work is seen as the main means to earn approval in the bear pit of female bitchery that is an average Indian extended family, something you’d thing she would be aware of given her background. Its not just India either. Hasn’t she seen Eat Drink Man Woman?

Greer then attempts some sub-Littlejohn (I actually typed that. ‘Sub-Littlejohn’) style homilies on oh - how calling someone a P*ki is worse than calling them a dog

Sexism is fine.

Not to the several thousand who cited this in complaints it wasn’t.

What you mustn't do is call her a "P*ki". As if to be Pakistani was to be worse than being a dog.

No, calling her both (behind her back, natch), is wrong and - something you still fail to grasp - a manifestation of the same vitriol.

If you call me an Aussie you don't insult me because Aussieness is OK. P*kiness is evidently not OK.

Someone give her an honorary doctorate. The crucial difference - I would suppose- is that when Asians were and are being firebombed out of their houses and attacked in the street, the term P*ki gets bandied about to a much greater extent, suggesting it is intended as a term of abuse. I’m sure you could make a case (like bad art wierdos Gilbert and George) that it’s a term of endearment. I’m sure that if there are enough racially motivated attacks against Australians the term Aussie could also lose its relatively harmless connotations (it already does in South Africa). The issue though, is that Australians themselves choose to describe themselves as Aussies, whereas most Asians (bar pisspoor controversy baiting twats ) patently Do NOT refer to themselves as P*kis. DUUUUUUUUUH.

Then some more sniping about how it looks like Shilpa Shetty is going to win. What an injustice. Someone who - through the sheer manipulation of he personality into appearing ‘nice’, - has managed to brainwash the ENTIRE VOTING PUBLIC that she deserves to win when Germaine knows better.

Last year Germaine Greer hosted a programme on Balderdash and Piffle about reclaiming the word Cunt.

I’m sure she’d approve of me calling her one then, because I mean it affectionately, really I do.