Saturday, September 08, 2007


Just how bad has the state of the Indian film industry got?

So bad that even the Maoists in Nepal are protesting about the quality of the film output.

Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag", Bollywood director Ram Gopal Varma's much-talked about remake of the blockbuster Hindi film "Sholay", has come under fire from Maoists in Nepal, who say the film has obscene scenes that would pollute society.

The controversial remake, which was released in four cinemas in Kathmandu Valley Friday, has been especially taken to task for a sizzling dance number featuring Bollywood star Urmila Matondkar.

The film - a jazzed up jump-cutting remake of the 70's 'masala' film(itself a version of the Magnificent Seven/ 7 Samurai)has bombed in cinemas across India and sucks cock on an epic scale by all accounts.

The dance scenes (Item numbers) themselves are as grisly as expected. Urmila Matondkar was something of a starlet in the late 90's, and like Shilpa Shetty before Big Brother was reduced to these - essentially titjiggling interludes to keep their name in the headlines with a flagging career. Both her and Shetty also have this antiseptic quality that also make the bump and grind feel extra wrong. They are all attractive women (in that Fair and Lovely generic way Bollywood produces starlets nowadays) but their appeal was in being slightly wholesome and girl-next-door rather than absolute maneaters. Its like watching Felicity Kendall give a lapdance.

Whilst there have always been these item numbers the marked difference now is that the dancing is notably raunchier, and it is often at odds with the rest of the film. Dance routines in serial killer films? Plus, with all this added rutting all the sheer demented joy has gone out of the filmi world, replaced by leaden 'making of' films where increasingly pretentious actors and actresses (nearly all now from the modelling world and therefore bland as fuck) gabble on endlessly about their groundbreaking work.

This is what they can't manage any more: sheer bonkers genius dance routines like from Helen in the 1969 film Talash:

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